Pain
by Julia Griever
Summary: Seifer's past- why hes so mean (in my book) ideal for seifer lovers!!!
1. The Beginning

Pain I think I know the reason that I was transferred to the orphanage. But it still puzzles me. Because I remember where I started off. My house was always dirty and grubby- my sorry excuses for parents never bothered to clean it up. My throat always felt clogged and rough from breathing in too much cigarette smoke. My parents didn't have jobs, and were depressed because of it. Sometimes they took their depression out on me. Was it my fault? My father was restless- waiting for something to happen. But nothing would happen- no one would call him back when he applied for a job. Therefore, he'd yell at me and swear whenever he felt like it. Sometimes I used to go off into another room and cry. My Mother was all right- but I still wondered how she possibly could stand my father- she had to sleep in the same bed as he and sleep with her. It simply disgusted me. They used to fight. Sometimes my mother would get slapped in the face by my father's hand, callused from his constant smoking. Then my mother would hurl some disgusting words at my father. Was it right? Was it right to fight like that? Do all adults do it? I was somewhat relieved when my father went into a hacking cough heart attack and died. Then I remember the heat of the fire. The ashes from the cigarettes that Mother smoked were not disposed of properly. My mother stood in the kitchen, with the smoke rushing towards her. She told me to get out, and I did, worrying about her. Then the house collapsed with my mother in it before my shimmering eyes. Why? Then it seems like a flash when I was transported to the orphanage.  
  
Matron was so decent and loving to each and every child at the orphanage. All the children my age would get together and play games that are now as I look back on them were pointless and silly. But at the time they were fun to me. The world seemed to smile, and all I felt was pain from my past life. And I was mean to the children who made me irritated, like Zell, the crybaby. And Squall was so aloof- and never talked to anyone. So I just did my best to get along with the others, except Zell and Squall, but I could easily flout them.  
  
Then there was Ellone. Sis as we called her. She was so loving and kind to us, and Squall hogged her for himself- were they siblings? Then one day a soldier came and adopted Ellone. And then one by one, every one was adopted. 


	2. The Leaving of the Orphanage

The stone floor felt cold when I sat on it.  
  
There was no one to play with.  
  
What was once a happy, carefree world where everyone played was gone. There was no one, as each child was adopted.  
  
Even crybaby Zell. Why didn't they pick me? What could a family do with a crybaby like that?  
  
Soon it was just me and Squall. Aloof Squall.  
  
It looked like I had to be friends with him.  
  
As we were told we were going to a Garden.  
  
Not a Garden in a park with flowers and all, but a school called a Garden.  
  
I was going to live at a school. With no one my age except Squall.  
  
Could I do it?  
  
I had to. We were in the same dormitory and all.  
  
We were in a class with kids all older than us- they just looked down on us as if we were some kind of bug or something.  
  
At first the girls thought all five-year-olds were supposed to be cute and all, so when they acted all giggly and all around me, I ran off. Such silliness could not be tolerated. And all the boys were just plain bullies. I was all alone.  
  
At nighttimes I would roll my eyes when Squall would look out his window and say 'Sis… I'm doing my best. I'll be okay without you.'  
  
He was talking to no one. It was silly. Couldn't he see that there was no one for us except for the teachers?  
  
Years passed. I grew to have some friends, Fujin and Raijin. They tagged along with me, amazed at my past when I told them. And so we had our little club- shutting everyone out.  
  
But sometimes I still made efforts to be friends with Squall.  
  
"Wanna come play with us?" I'd ask.  
  
"No," he'd answer.  
  
"Please? Why not?"  
  
"Because."  
  
Some reasons!  
  
"Look, it's just us. There is no one. Sis will not come back."  
  
Squall knew it was true, but he tried to fight the truth as tears sprang to his eyes as he stood up and told me fiercely, "I hafta take Sis's place! She will too come back! Everyone liked her, but she liked me the best!"  
  
"STOP IT!" I yelled, "DON'T YOU SEE?! SHE'S GONE! SIS ISN'T HERE! STOP PRETENDING TO TALK TO HER AS IF SHE WAS REAL! CANT YOU SEE WE'RE ALL ALONE! SIS WAS ADOPTED! WE WEREN'T!" I gasped for breath. A crowd was now gathering around us, as Squall shook with fury.  
  
"SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE!"  
  
"Squall, ya gotta stop living in fantasy land. Live in the now."  
  
That earned me a punch in the face. My lip bled.  
  
This was rubbish! I try to be friends with this kid, and he punches me when I tell him the truth! He needed to have some sense hit into him, and the only way I could do it was by actually hitting him. I took a swing, so thus resulting in a fight.  
  
"Break it up! Break it up, boys!" a girl had stepped in and tried to break us up. What was it any of her business?! She didn't know what we were going through!  
  
I spit some blood out of my mouth.  
  
"I'm just trying to be your friend, Squall." I said before I left in a huff. 


	3. The SeeD

More years passed. I had fallen in love with a girl named Rinoa, and the last summer went very well, and we got serious.  
  
I was now intended to become a SeeD. However, on Training Day I accidentally slept in, and rushed to class.  
  
Well, just my luck! All the partners were picked except for standoffish Squall.  
  
"Partner?" I reluctantly asked, getting out my gunblade.  
  
"Whatever." He got his out too. Time for a match.  
  
Ten minutes later, we stood on the shield of stone just outside of the Fire Cavern. Squall looked angry.  
  
"I will kill you." Squall seethed.  
  
"What the?"  
  
"You've always been mean to me. And I never did anything to you."  
  
"Bull----! I've always tried to be your friend!" What was Squall's problem?!  
  
Then Squall rushed towards me with his gunblade armed.  
  
"FIRE!" I yelled and held out my hand. A breath of flame shot out of it, knocking Squall off of his balance.  
  
"You've always been silly! Always dreaming of Sis! And when I told you to snap out of it, ya beat me up!"  
  
He screamed in fury, unable to take in the truth that I tried to tell him all these years. I held up my gunblade to arm myself, and was careless of the angle I held it at. The sharp tip flew up and cut my partner in the face. He keeled over.  
  
"Oh man…Geez, Squall, I'm sorry." I put my weapon down by my side.  
  
Then Squall tore forward, with blood trickling down his face, and slashed me in the exact same spot that I hit him by accident. That's all I remember before I fainted.  
  
*~*  
  
Some time later, I awoke in the Infirmary, with my head hurting. The headmaster was frowning at me.  
  
"Young man, you hurt your partner in Training. That is strictly against the rules of Training, and I am very disappointed in you!"  
  
Then the memory came back to me. I groaned.  
  
"I didn't do it!"  
  
"Don't you give me that! I was watching the whole time, and you cut him first!"  
  
"But I…"  
  
"Get to class."  
  
With my head still hurting I obeyed. In class, smart-alecky instructor Trepe frowned at me when I came into the door, Squall sulking in his desk. I slid into it, students frowning in inquiry at me and Squall's scars.  
  
"The SeeD Fire Cavern Mission is today," she explained, "You may train in the Training Center until then. And Seifer, do NOT injure your partner during training!"  
  
This again. I slammed my fist on the table about to explain, and then gave up. I knew that if I gave any ifs, ands or buts, I'd sound like a little kid.  
  
And that's the end of my past. You've heard the rest. 


End file.
